Monthly Archives: March 2008

Church of the New Media

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This past Sunday I attended a church that was doing a Credo service. Members of the congregation spoke their truth powerfully and bore witness to their faith, explaining their world views, their theology, and telling their stories.

Just as powerful to me, was the music. Two pieces of contemporary popular music were used in the service. One as a prelude and one before the credos. I was left in awe by both pieces, sung solo, self-accompanied on acoustic guitar, they were as intense a musical experience as anything from an aria to a full gospel choir, that I have ever experienced in church. Both songs are arranged for rock bands, so the solo arrangements were impressive. Yet both provided the lyric substance to draw you in and let you wrestle with the idea of each piece. Even more impressive was that the young man who sang pulled these off as church music-performance quality, but not a performance. He was intense and invested in the music, but he was not “on stage.” He was singing these songs for us, the congregation, so that we might feel the meaning in the words and music and the reason why behind they meant so much to him; the reason why these songs were chosen for this morning, for this service.

One of these songs was Act Appalled by Circa Survive. The video won’t give you an accurate feel for what I experienced in church. The lyric might help, though:

will you walk straight
im not like them
to fool them in
make it seem like you’re in trouble
make a sound
fake it enough
what made you so scared?
maybe you’re mistaken for someone who cares

if you remember (remember)
I’ve been trying to get back to the center
I’m sure
it’s not like it was before

to make them drink
tell ‘em that it’s only water
no one leaves til we figure this out
what made you so scared?
maybe you’re mistaken for someone who cares

if you remember (remember)
I’ve been trying to get back to the center
I’m sure
it’s not like it was before

patience, both we and our words are over produced by an influence

I’m only asking
if you remember (remember)
I’ve been trying to get back to the center
I’m sure
it’s not like it was

The second song was Jesus Christ by Brand New. Again, the video won’t do justice to the church experience, but the lyric will help.

Jesus Christ, that’s a pretty face
The kind you’d find on someone that could save
If they don’t put me away
Well, it’ll be a miracle

Do you believe you’re missing out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night’s hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won’t know anyone

Well, Jesus Christ, I’m alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
’cause this problem’s gonna last more than the weekend.

Well, Jesus Christ, I’m not scared to die,
I’m a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?

Do I divide and fall apart?
’cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
And the ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands

I know you’re coming in the night like a thief
But I’ve had some time, O Lord, to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up

So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I’ll know it’s you and that it’s over so I won’t even try

I know you’re coming for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails
And we turn out hate in factories
We all got wood and nails
And we turn out hate in factories
We all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine

Rites of Passage

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Saturday I led a workshop on Rites of Passage with my friend Morgan at the La Leche League Conference of MA/RI/VT. We covered hild dedications and naming ceremonies and how to deal with death and dying, but coming of age rituals and ceremonies were the big topic of discussion. A big thanks to Stan Crow, whose work on mentoring and Rites of Passage, I came to value while leading coming of age programs while a ministerial intern. Stan graciously gave permission for us to reference his work. It was wonderful to spend time with a group of people who approach parenting in same vein and were genuinely interested in making ceremony and ritual more a part of their families’ lives.

We tried our best to model our approach by designing our workshop as a ritual. Here is our center table with our electric candles and La Leche League books and workshop programs.

Rites of Passage for LLL

Easter Blessings

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Bless.  A transitive verb – to confer or invoke favor upon.  Blessings. A noun – the favors or gifts received.  This Easter was a time of genuine blessing for me.  I am truly thankful.  Like many blessings, mine came gently. So much so that I hardly knew I had been so gifted until I was left holding the grace delicately in my heart.

My friend Pat LaMarche phoned a few days before Easter and asked if I would host her friend Jesse Johnson over Easter weekend while he met with Green-Rainbow Party officials in Massachusetts.   I explained to  Pat that I wasn’t involved in the current MA GRP squabbles and that I had, in fact, changed my voted registration to unenrolled so that I could support Obama this time around.  I know this must have been a bit of a surprise to Pat, but no bother. We arranged for Jesse to stay with us.  Jesse stayed with us Saturday night and accompanied us to Easter service at First Church, UU in Leominster and to dinner at Tina’s mom’s house afterwards.

There’s nothing like company to make you appreciate the blessings of home.  As I showed Jesse our church, and explained Johnny  Appleseed and showed him John Chapman’s birth certificate and he drank in the history of the photos in the church parlor, I was awash in appreciation for my home congregation.

Tina’s family is large, close French-Canadian clan and well, Jesse’s isn’t.  At times it’s hard to forget what a gift it is to have such a family.  What is close and familiar can all too often be taken for granted.  Children and nephews and chaos and singing (Tina’s sister recently bought a new guitar, which prompted the usual sing-along) had started to become so routine that I had begun to miss their magic. This time I saw them through Jesse’s eyes and how much he appreciated being a part of it all.  Jesse’s from West Virginia and the only song he sang along to was Country Roads.

I enjoyed a lot of conversation with Jesse over the weekend about the dangers of corporate control of the government, the environment and Thomas Jefferson – I made a gift to him of my copy of the Jefferson Bible, which he read all weekend when time allowed.  Yet, the best thing that happened was how he helped me see the blessings I have that always surrounding me – family, friends, and home and church.

Then, a few days later I received a gift from a former parishioner and friend. A book called Benedictus - Blessing – by John O’Donohue.  How fitting. A perfect end to Easter this year.

May you be blessed with good friends,

And learn to be a good friend yourself,

Journeying to that place in your soul where

There is love, warmth and feeling.

May it change you.

Blessings,

Tony

Easter on the Anniversary of War

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Easter comes this year with its call of springtime (hear in the northern hemisphere), new hope, new life, starting over, rebirth and renewal fast on the heels of the anniversary of the diabolical fiasco that is the War in Iraq. So many dead, so many lives torn apart, so many and so much in need of healing and renewal.

The Church of the Larger Fellowship’s March edition of QUEST features two fabulous pieces on Easter. One is called “Easter is Breaking” a poem by Kathleen Rolenz, Co-Minister of the West Shore UU Church in Rocky River, OH. You can listen to it here or read it at the QUEST website. The other is a reflection/homily titled “We Who Believe” by Alicia Roxanne Forde, Minister of the Namaqua UU Congregatin in Loveland, CO. Available in audio here and in text at QUEST website.

Almost a Revolution

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I finished college in the late 1980′s. It was the end of the apartheid era in South Africa, the time of Glasnost and the Berlin Wall crumbling in Germany, and the Tiananmen Square uprising in China.

My friend brought me home a piece of the Berlin Wall from a Spring Break trip, one of my friends was Soweto, having escaped her oppressive government back home, and while doing my senior year internship at Amnesty International’s regional office in Somerville, MA, I spent one afternoon being the “green room” host for Shen Tong.

Shen Tong was one of the student organizers of the Tiananmen Square protests. He had to be smuggled out of the country days after the tanks dispersed the protesters in June 1989. Later that fall I sat opposite him as he waited to speak at a student human rights conference in Boston. When he spoke he talked about being inspired by Martin Luther King, Jr. and the American Civil Rights struggle. When he offered to take questions, I remember him being asked if it was difficult to talk about his friends who had been killed. He said that it was, but because they had given lives, how could he not continue to speak out. Was it a bit of survivor’s guilt? Maybe, but none the less powerful or true for being so.

Tong wrote a book about his experiences of June 1989 called Almost a Revolution. He went on to become a businessman and founded his own software company. Almost unbelievably, he’s been allowed back into China, although he’s followed around in cartoonish but very real and dangerous fashion by Chinese security (think CIA).

I’ve been thinking about Shen Tong’s story as the call goes up to boycott the Beijing Olympics, well chronicled by James Ford at Monkey Mind (along with updates on the protests in Tibet and statements from the Dalai Lama). I’ve been thinking about how Shen Tong could go back to China after what happened in the early days of June 1989? Does he feel like he’s got back at them now? Like they don’t dare touch them now? Maybe not. Maybe China will only brutalize faceless monks and Tibetans. I’ve been thinking about the boycott of the Olympics in 1984 over the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. Did it really achieve anything? In the age of steroids and cheating, have the Olympics lost any ability they’ve had to bring the world together in any way, so that any protest or boycott would lose power?

The very least we can do is get on China’s case. Here’s Amnesty International’s latest press release on the Tibet situation.

And here is Amnesty USA’s country page on China. Pick an action and write or email.

Race Still Matters

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I just finished watching and reading Obama’s speech on race and comments related to his pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright. You can read it here. In light of the political fallout Obama will have to continue to deal with due to Rev. Wright’s comments, it’s a fantastic speech, yet I am left wondering if it is seen as strong enough defense of Wright by some. I thought Wright was outstanding when he made the keynote presentation to the Unitarian Universalist Ministers Association in Portland last year.

A lesson in responding to hate

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Last week Oklahoma State Rep. Sally Kern gave an ignorant, hate-filled diatribe against homosexuals to a small group of Republicans. Someone recorded, made a video, and it sprang to life on YouTube as fund raiser for the Victory Fund.

The best response to Kern, who thinks gays are more dangerous than terrorists, came from a young man named Tucker, who lost his mother in the Oklahoma City bombing when he was five. The story behind this can be found at dailyKos.

Rep Kern:

On April 19, 1995, in Oklahoma City a terrorist detonated a bomb that killed my mother and 167 others. 19 children died that day. Had I not had the chicken pox that day, the body count would’ve likely have included one more. Over 800 other Oklahomans were injured that day and many of those still suffer through their permanent wounds.

That terrorist was neither a homosexual or was he involved in Islam. He was an extremist Christian forcing his views through a body count. He held his beliefs and made those who didn’t live up to them pay with their lives.

As you were not a resident of Oklahoma on that day, it could be explained why you so carelessly chose words saying that the homosexual agenda is worst than terrorism. I can most certainly tell you through my own experience that is not true. I am sure there are many people in your voting district that laid a loved one to death after the terrorist attack on Oklahoma City. I kind of doubt you’ll find one of them that will agree with you.

I was five years old when my mother died. I remember what a beautiful, wise, and remarkable woman she was. I miss her. Your harsh words and misguided beliefs brought me to tears, because you told me that my mother’s killer was a better person than a group of people that are seeking safety and tolerance for themselves.

As someone left motherless and victimized by terrorists, I say to you very clearly you are absolutely wrong.

You represent a district in Oklahoma City and you very coldly express a lack of love, sympathy or understanding for what they’ve been through. Can I ask if you might have chosen wiser words were you a real Oklahoman that was here to share the suffering with Oklahoma City? Might your heart be a bit less cold had you been around to see the small bodies of children being pulled out of rubble and carried away by weeping firemen?

I’ve spent 12 years in Oklahoma public schools and never once have I had anyone try to force a gay agenda on me. I have seen, however, many gay students beat up and there’s never a day in school that has went by when I haven’t heard the word **** slung at someone. I’ve been called gay slurs many times and they hurt and I am not even gay so I can just imagine how a real gay person feels. You were a school teacher and you have seen those things too. How could you care so little about the suffering of some of your students?

Let me tell you the result of your words in my school. Every openly gay and suspected gay in the school were having to walk together Monday for protection. They looked scared. They’ve already experienced enough hate and now your words gave other students even more motivation to sneer at them and call them names. Afterall, you are a teacher and a lawmaker, many young people have taken your words to heart. That happens when you assume a role of responsibility in your community. I seriously think before this week ends that some kids here will be going home bruised and bloody because of what you said.

I wish you could’ve met my mom. Maybe she could’ve guided you in how a real Christian should be acting and speaking.

I have not had a mother for nearly 13 years now and wonder if there were fewer people like you around, people with more love and tolerance in their hearts instead of strife, if my mom would be here to watch me graduate from high school this spring. Now she won’t be there. So I’ll be packing my things and leaving Oklahoma to go to college elsewhere and one day be a writer and I have no intentions to ever return here. I have no doubt that people like you will incite crazy people to build more bombs and kill more people again. I don’t want to be here for that. I just can’t go through that again.

You may just see me as a kid, but let me try to teach you something. The old saying is sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you. Well, your words hurt me. Your words disrespected the memory of my mom. Your words can cause others to pick up sticks and stones and hurt others.

Sincerely

Tucker

Coffeehouse Prayers

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The Here We Grow retreat ended with a coffeehouse. Thanks to everyone. Clare solving the Rubik’s Cube in a minute and half was crazy! Alan and Justine’s performance of Home is Where the Heart Is brought a tear to my eye and Justine’s rendition of We Are Each Other’s Angels was beautiful. Sorry I can’t share that with you, so I will share this one…

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We Are Each Others Angels Live – Sara Hickman

Posted to CivilizedVideo by ali on April 05, 2007

 

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well i hope i see you later
cuz it’s time for me to go
and my ride has just pulled over
but it sure was good to know you

go answer your calling
go and fill somebody’s cup
and if you see an angel falling
won’t you stop and help her up

cuz we are each other’s angels
and we meet when it is time
we keep each other going
and we show each other signs

sometimes you’ll stumble
sometimes you’ll just lie down
sometimes you will get lonely
with all these people around

you might shiver when the wind blows
yea you might get blown away
you might lose a little colours
you you might lose a little faith

but we are each other’s angels
and we meet when it is time
we keep each other going
and we show each other signs

well i reached my destination
yea i finally made it home
god sent ten thousand angels
to make me one of his own

but we are each other’s angels
and we meet when it is time
we keep each other going
and we show each other signs

oh we are each other’s angels
we are each other’s angels
oh we are each other’s angels
and we meet when it is time
oh we are each other’s angels
ohhh i’ve forgotten how to fly
oh we are each other’s angels
won’t you show me how to fly
oh we are each other’s angels

Here We Grow, Again

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Here We Grow is part of a UUA pilot program on congregational growth and vitality – don’t forget the vitality part – taking place here in the Clara Barton District and in a few other districts around the country. In each district, a small number of congregations are working with district staff, UUA consultants and congregational mentors on growing their congregations – and it’s not just about numbers in the pews – and making their churches vibrant, exciting places to be. I am serving as mentor to one of the congregations. We are having a retreat this weekend to check in on this year’s progress and learn more about congregational growth and vitatlity.

Sheperding this project is UU consultant Stan Crow, whose work on mentoring I know from my work with Coming of Age programs. Stan has been nothing short of spectacular. He’s a great guy and wonderful facilitator.

Here are some of the great tidbits from Stan this weekend. I believe this first one is something he said came from UU minister Robert Latham, author of Moving on From Church Folly Lane.

All religious organizations have the same religious mission:
1. to transform human lives – bring people to a sense of people not living full lives to people who are living full lives.
2. to make the world a better place to live for all

The difference is how we enact our values. How we live out our values.

Where Stan went next was the heart of the entire issue behind congregational growth in my opinion – lack of religious mission; the tendency of Unitarian Universalists to see church activity as just another social involvement and not as a religious or spiritual calling or ministry.

To be a UU is to be in ministry. We don’t talk about this.

Stan then went on to tell a fascinating story about a conversation he had with an LDS leader at an event their congregations did together. Stan asked on average how many converts Mormon young people made on their required mission trips, undertaken in paired teams. This woman’s response: Two – themselves. The process of telling their faith story over and over helps them internalize it.

What is our faith story? How do we tell it? Not what are our principles and purposes, but what is our faith story and how do we tell it? Who are its heroes and heroines and champions and what great deeds and what distant times have brought us to here and how are we a part of it?

Do our congregations have a mission to continue this faith story? Do our congregations have a mission to serve the community and each other?

Stan then said something I had actually mentioned in a sermon this year.

What if all committees were no longer committees but ministries?

Shared ministry objective: To retell the story of ministry in our congregation, so that everyone could see their church engagement as ministry.

People don’t like to join committees, but they do like to get involved in things that feed their spirit. Combine committees, reduce their number. Don’t meet on Sundays before or after service. Replace committees with small group ministries.

One my favorite pieces of the presentation was this breakdown of ministry that Stan shared from his home congregation:

Ministry of lifelong spiritual exploration and growth: Lifespan learning (Family ministry), Gathered community worship (including music ministry), Small Group ministry.

Ministries of service and action: Peace and justice, congregational leadership, welcoming and outreach ministry.

Here are some of my other favorite tidbits.

Functional characteristics of a vital congregation:

1.Several competent programs and activities
2.Open accessiblitiy
3.High visibility

Barriers to growth

1.We have a weak sense of calling to reach out beyond our current members.
Translation of what this statement actually means:

We are not too confident about our chosen faith being acceptable to our friends and neighbors.
We don’t have a strong story about why others should be become UU’s.
We haven’t decided to rehears our Good News. We haven’t decided what our good news is or why to proclaim it.
We really feel more comfortable being small and knowing everybody.

2. We are not educated about size dynamics and growth plateaus.

3. Our physical space is limiting our growth.

What is the endowment for?
Each congregation has to decided, but what difference does it make if the endowment survives and the congregation dies?

Where do visitor’s come from to UU congregations? 2006 UUCB source of visitors.

Friends 39%
Internet 30%

I continue to be amazed how behind UU’s are, technologically speaking. When I asked how many people regularly read UU blogs and listen to UU podcasts, only two other people in the room of almost 20 people raised their hands. There are people doing church well in the twenty-first century, but by and large, they are not those of us with liberal religious values. There are not a lot of thriving liberal congregations and I don’t believe it’s not because there are not a lot of people out there who don’t share our values and believes. I think it’s because we insist on “doing church” like it’s 1957 when it’s 2008 and inward focussed, multiple committee layered, delayed decision making structures that emphasize process over mission are not seen as welcoming, exciting places that nourish the spirit even by liberal religious seekers looking for a place to be nourished and connect with others who want to put their values into action.

Some must resources for today’s post:

The Almost Church by Michael Durall

Micah’s Porch – Rev. David Owen O’Quill meets with UU’s in a Chicago Bar

More on Micah’s Porch by Arbitrary Remarks

Emergent Church sermon by Ron Robinson