I’ve finally stopped for the day. No more appointments to keep, meetings to attend, or business to do. I’m reading and watching video about the shooting in an elementary school in Newtown, CT. I had picked up the news during the day, like most people, but the items on my calendar and the travel between them kept me from absorbing. Of course this was partly intentional because I had things that had to be done and listening to the news on the radio was something I frankly didn’t think I could handle and still be in any emotional shape for at least two of the afternoon’s three appointments.
Now, I’ve stopped. I read through the news stories on the Internet. I absorb the information: 27 people dead. 20 children. The shooter a son of one of the teachers at the school. The third senseless shooting in a public place in the last week. All things come in threes, even the dark ones. I don’t have anything left. No energy, no emotional resources. I’m going through a divorce and my son is still living with his mother 1,800 miles away. Like many parents today, I just want my child. He’s 16. I can’t reach him on the phone and he’s not online. I begin to cry. Not the silent, manly tear down the cheek that our culture prefers when men cry if they cry at all, but racking sobs. The type of crying I imagine the writers of the psalms did while beseeching God to smite their enemies or restore their faith or end their pain. And right now I relate to all of those. I also relate to Advent. Powerfully. Today was an Advent day. Continue reading “How to “Get” Advent”